Help! I'm hosting Christmas dinner and I only have two plates! My family will be here in a matter or hours and to spite purchasing enough food to feed an army, placemats, silverware and countless wine glasses, I forgot to buy plates! Perhaps this is what happens when you put "nomad" in front of "grandma".
Even at 59, with nearly 6 years of nomadic chaos behind me, I've remain socially conditioned to be the host. In truth, I feel almost compelled to invite my family over, especially now that I have a house. But... well... I only have two plates. I also have no idea how to cook, let alone entertain anymore. Due to Covid, and other circumstances, I've spend Christmas alone in my van for the last two years. It was kind of nice actually, I built a campfire, poured a glass of wine and watched the sunset over a beautiful lake. I missed my family desperately, but there was an overwhelming sense of peace and quiet about it all. Not to mention the fact that one plate was enough - having two was sheer excess.
This year, however, I feel pretty foolish. It's not that my kids won't understand... although their spouses seem to think I'm nuts. But I wonder sometimes what happened to me. I don't miss the role of subservient wife, I don't miss hosting parties, or having my husband's boss over for dinner. But it's such an odd feeling to have once been someone so completely different than who I am today. How was I ever so comfortable in a life which seems so foreign to me now?
Yet here I am, like it or not, attempting to set a table with no plates, I'm grateful to have a 22-month-old grandson (and newborn), here to distract from my failing social skills. I miss the years that my mom was here to host. I miss my dad, and I guess a small part of me misses spending Christmas in the van.
But alas when my family arrives, I'll put on my happy face and smile. Because that's what grandma's do... nomadic or not.
Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!
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